Every where I go, I see political discourse taking place on the backs of cars. "Subvert the Dominant Paradigm", "W: THE President", "Don't Blame Me, I Voted for the Guy Who Won", I can't stop at a red light without someone forcing their idealogy down my throat. I find it all so incredibly frustrating.

How has it come to be that our conversations about these important topics have been reduced to 30 second soundbites and Bumper Sticker Activism? Do we really think that we can sum up our complex beliefs with 3-5 word slogans? Back and forth griping on the highway? I say NO! I say that in a perfect world, these kinds of things spark lively conversations in parking lots and driveways across the country, but let's be real. Our society has become so fragmented, so self-serving that strangers just don't talk with each other anymore. The old addage that you never discuss politics, religion, or whatever the third thing was seems to be one of the few philosophies that have survived the information age, at least outside of the internet.

But where has this left us? "It's A Child, not a Choice"? "Say No to War"? Does any of this really make sense? I mean, those are pretty damn ambiguous comments to make. Few people I know think that World War II was a war we should have said no to, and whether it's a child or a choice doesn't even begin to address the actual substantive part of the debate.

I think our society is getting dumber. I think we refuse to get into the nitty-gritty of important political and philosophical discussions, because it's just so much easier to just buy a sticker and plant it on the bumper, 'nuff said. I implore you, gentle reader, save that bumper space for your "Your honor student is gay" stickers and try actually learning about the issues that interest you and engaging your friends and relatives, AND the guy in front of you in line at the grocery store in some fruitful discussion. Your community will eventually thank you.

Yeah, totally, I get enraged by...wait, what? You're ranting about bumper stickers? Really, Joseph, pot isn't legal yet; keep that in mind, thanks.

All right, bumper stickers. I have a really neat bumper sticker that I got from goats.com that is designed like a Republican party sticker and says "Republicans for Voldemort". I've seen some really cool ones, like "Keep Your Jesus Out Of My Cocoa Puffs" and the ever popular "Monkey is the Root of all Evil" (NOT a typo, stop writing in). These all relay important messages to humanity as a whole and American society in particular: I am a funny dude. And I love Pez.

But reducing important topics to catch phrases and soundbites has been a staple of American politics, religion, and culture since before either of us were born. Just look at the propaganda posters from WWII: "Loose Lips Sink Ships", yeah, that addresses the problem. How about all the pro-women in the workforce posters during the war? Any of those women get to keep their jobs when their meat and potatoes, drunken, abusive hubby returned from killing people with funny accents? I highly doubt it, but the sentiment was "all for one" or something slightly less cheesy with the same meaning. And it goes back further than that, both in America and abroad; indeed, the first newspapers, called "Broadsheets", were nothing more than short blurbs with minimal facts and maximum entertainment value. Because that is all the sharing of information has become: Entertainment. Newscasts are dictated by their Neilson share and the politics of their viewers. Newspapers also have a demographic and a feel that is consistent with their sponsors. It is all about entertaining the populace, keeping them just informed enough so that they don't want to be truly knowledgeable (or feel that they are), and keeping the sponsors selling their Diet Coke or frozen pizzas or cds (we can both feel ashamed of that last one, my friend).

And why? Because we have the attention spans of gnats. It's not that we are stuipid, it's that we are lazy and ignorant. If the average guy off the street, say me, knew half the shit our government really did in Iraq, not just the Bush administration, but the CIA (who are alledgedly tied to that $120 million in briefcases they found at Saddam's palace) and even the Clinton administration, it would lead me to a Koreshian experience. And we all saw how well Waco went; government tanks fired into the compound and CNN said "Oh my god, they lit themselves on fire." Who the fuck lights themselves on fire? It would be difficult, what with them having to compete with the shelling from the Bradley tanks and all...

But I digress. What is the point of all of this, and bumper stickers in particular? They're not to inform; hell, they're not even to reinforce ideas we already have. No, there are really just the two reasons for putting your relative propaganda on the back of your earth-crushing SUV: 1) ego, pure and simple, just like the guy who pays $30 for a ratty old worn t-shirt made in the seventies to prove that he's been hip to a band for a long time; and 2) AFFIRMATION. We all know that some people are for and other against abortion rights, but it makes us feel more included, part of a larger group, the more often we hear or read that others think the way we do. Bumper stickers may not have a positive impact on our culture, but they make us feel like we're not as alone in our beliefs and ideas, and in the end, isn't that actually better?

BTW, I believe the third thing was sex. Based on the last six months of drunken bar nights, coffee meetings, and bus rides, I'd say we're down to just the two.