The Secret Machines are, simply put, horrible.

Trite, overused guitar rhythms, horribly pop-oriented vocals, and the SAME damn drum track seems to run through the whole record. If it was better done, this stuff might have been groundbreaking when Queen did it in the 70's; now it's just tired.

That can't all be blamed on the band, however; the engineering is so out of place on this record, it makes four track recordings seem pro. The levels are insane, and there is more bass than on most Snoop Dogg albums. A rock record with the engineering of a heavy electronic industrial album is just a bad idea; I had to turn down the bass FOUR times just to get through the whole thing. The only saving graces: the vocal rhythms on track 2 are actually slightly interesting, but it are hurt by the juvenile, pointless lyrics. And track 3 is pretty. What it's doing in the middle of horrendously engineered, poorly played, bad guitar rock I'll never know.

Now Where Is Nowhere gives off the vibe of a band trying to learn their instruments by signing to a major label. Which is quite possibly what's going on here.

-Dave Mandell